I love the above meme. She looks so guilty but is really just an innocent little girl. The house fire in the background was a controlled fire set by the Mebane, NC fire department in 2005 on a Saturday morning. Zoe, the 5 year old girl in the picture, had walked with her father to watch as did several other neighbors. Her father wanted to take a picture of Zoe in front of the fire. The look on Zoe's face earned her a check of $500,000.00 when she sold the original picture as a nonfungible token (something to do with cryptocurrency) to pay her student loans and donate to charity. This is a great reminder that things are not always as they seem.
In my last blog, Susan and I were leaving downtown Miami and CCNA had just reminded me I was someone other than a big-boobed blonde. I thanked him as I hugged him good-bye. He told me they would be coming to Atlanta in a month or so to do some testing. He gave me his cell # and I gave him mine. We talked about all of us meeting halfway between Birmingham and Atlanta for dinner if they were in town for two nights.
Once we were back in town, I thought everything would go back to what normal had become. I was doing most of my work shifts in the ED. Susan and I were tight. I thought she was the only person who understood me. I was SO FREAKING TIRED of being accused of screwing around! Yes, I had an affair with Dr. Gripe-o but he didn't even work at Carraway. Yes, I had several male friends. Females can seriously be mean and caddy! In hindsight, I did flirt excessively because work was the only place I got any attention. Also, I might act like the ditzy blonde sometimes, but I'm not. You find what works and you stick with it. If flirting with the MD in the ER that was know to be hard to get along with made my shift easier, then I flirted away. However, that didn't mean I was sleeping with the entire male population. I actually wasn't sleeping with any of them. If I had slept with all of the men I was accused of sleeping with, I would've never walked normal again!
The testing dates for the crew came and went. CCNA called me and told me when they were going to be there. We decided Anniston was close to the halfway mark so we agreed to meet there. I really had no idea what was in Anniston so he said he would call when he arrived. The rest of the crew wasn't interested in making the field trip and neither was Susan. We ended up meeting at Outback and having dinner. That was it. Nothing inappropriate. Not even a kiss on the cheek. He was a perfect gentleman. We talked and messaged each other a few times but it was nothing significant. Small talk about how the weather was and how our days were going.
Perry and I made it through all the holidays. I was never a huge holiday girl when I was younger. There were years when the boys were younger that I loved Christmas. I decorated every room. I shopped for months to make sure they received everything they wanted and then some! Watching those perfect little faces light up was more than I could've ever wished for. Even after they didn't believe in Santa anymore, seeing the happiness on their faces was still enough. We appeared to be the perfect family, Christmas card and all.
As winter passed, it started getting warmer and turning into baseball registration time. The boys played baseball and basketball, but baseball was the favorite for me, both boys, and Perry. It was time consuming and a welcome distraction from the absence of attention at home. The boys were in separate divisions since their age difference was 2 yrs apart. It took both of us to manage them. Perry took turns coaching them. They also both played spring ball and fall ball. Sam would eventually play on a travel team and in high school his senior year. This particular year, baseball was more stressful than ever. My actions the Spring of 2002 had carried over into 2003 and now it was affecting my son.
In 2002, Sam had been picked by a coach I didn't know. I'll call him G-daddy. Sam had not played with his son and his only other child didn't play baseball. I had several acquaintances at the ballpark and a few friends. There were also a few I thought were friends that fooled me. On my way to drop the boys off at school one day, I was told by one of the "friends" I was disliked by G-daddy's wife. I just didn't get it! I didn't even know her and she didn't know anything about me! Instead of taking the high road, I decided if people were going to talk about me, I was going to give them something to talk about. I looked at my friend and told her his wife should dislike me because I was going to make it my mission to find out how big his penis was.
Now, I was obviously being obnoxious and smart-mouthed. I thought G-daddy was cute, but I never had intentions of having an affair with him. I never did either. However, the more ugly looks I was given from G-daddy's wife, her friends, and her family, the more I flirted with him. Even after baseball season, I made sure I would go to the high school football games I knew he would be attending. The uglier the looks toward me became, the lower my shirts became. At this point, I liked G-daddy, but it was more about messing with his wife and her family. I was attention seeking in the worst way.
So back to Spring of 2003, I was told Sam was one of the last picks in baseball because of me. I was heartbroken. It was one thing for me to be talked about, but I fell apart when Sam started being affected. I started asking questions and realized not everyone who I was confiding in was my friend. Salt and sugar looks a lot alike.
It took me a while, but in 2011, I called and apologized to G-daddy's wife. She was kind and accepting. I haven't seen either of them in years, but wish them all the best.
So we survived ball season and the Talladega Spring race of 2003. Both were non-eventful. I did my best to behave at the ballpark. I focused on our boys. I was a partner in our business of a marriage. I saw CCNA at the Spring Talladega race and for the first time, had an attraction to him.
Summer came and went. In September, we went on a cruise together. It was just me and Perry, along with my aunts and uncles. Our boys stayed home with Alex. It was September 2003, the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death. It was really nice to be on a vacation with Perry. We were away from all of the stress and we were able to be like the old us for that week. However that was short lived.
When our ship returned to Port in New Orleans, I called Alex to check in. This was his first time to ever keep the boys. He sounded frazzled. He told me everyone was safe, but we would need to hold family court once we were home for an attempted stabbing.
I'm very organized and thought I had everything arranged for the week. I had two checks for lunch money, one for each child. I also had two checks written out for the book fair being held that week at school, one for each child. Apparently, the attempted stabbing happened after Sam spent all four checks at the book fair and Josh ran out of lunch money. The mischief started early at our house!
Jumping back into the chaos separated us again and we became associates raising a family one more time. The Talladega fall race was a few weeks after our cruise. I saw CCNA and the rest of the crew. They came into the care center and used the shower. They were all covered in Gatorade from an excellent finish at the race. Susan and I planned to go to Miami again for the last race of the season. I had a feeling this time it wouldn't be so innocent.
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