Where we left off in part 3 on BPD, I was happy! I was working full time in NICU. I had finally gotten rid of SOB. My mom and I were on better terms. I knew I had some depression issues I had struggled with, but I had no idea about BPD. Looking back now, it's easy to recognize some of the signs I was already exhibiting:
1) My relationship with SOB was as unstable as they came.
2) Taking a bottle of Tylenol to see if someone would stop me was impulsive and self-destructive.
3) I had a fear of abandonment from my mom and from SOB. I should have been furious at both but I kept trying to make amends and have a relationship with both of them.
4) I had felt empty for years but now my emotions had completely changed. I was having fun although I was still participating in self-destructive behaviors by being so sexually promiscuous.
Then, the nail appointment that changed my life happened. Now, I know these days, there are nail shops everywhere. No appointment necessary, walk ins welcome - we make you look pretty, like model, like cheerleader. This was in early September of 1991 and nail shops were very few and far between. We weren't allowed to have nails in nursing school. Y'all already know I'm BPD; I've been called BB as well (bougie bitch), I wanted some pretty nails! I had done my research and was told the best nail shop was in Gardendale. I made my nail appointment for 4pm on a Wednesday afternoon. I was leaving Carraway and had plenty of time to get to my nail appointment. It was slightly insane I was driving 20 minutes in the opposite direction of home just for a set of nails. As I drove past my old Alma Mata GHS, I see a couple of former male classmates in a parking lot of a popular store at the next intersection. I pull in and stop to say hello. We all catch up for a few minutes. Nothing significant, just small talk. Both of these guys were good friends with Perry during school. One of them mentioned Perry and asked me if I had talked to him. I told them no. The last I had heard, Perry had gotten married and was living in Florida. They both laughed and told me that never happened. A few minutes later, Perry pulled into the parking lot.
We were both very surprised to see each other. He said he wanted to see my car so he got in the car with me. He was looking around and opened the ashtray in my car. He had quite a shocked look when he saw the engagement ring SOB had given me. He asked if there was anything I needed to tell him. I told him it was over and he didn't push the issue. He told me he had been back in Alabama since May. He said he had tried to call me but my phone number was disconnected. I told him my mom had moved to Tuscaloosa County. We got out of the car and Perry suggested we all get together the upcoming weekend for drinks. We had all just turned 21. I have never been a huge drinker. I'm more of a puker, but I agreed to meet them for dinner and drinks on Friday after work.
Perry had moved back to Alabama from Florida, but he was not living in Gardendale. His dad and family were renting a house in Center Point until the house they were building in Mt. Olive was completed. I wasn't living in Gardendale any longer either. I had moved multiple times since I had last seen Perry. I just happened to make my nail appointment in Gardendale on the same day Perry was driving to Gardendale to pick up one of his friends so they could work out together. My nail appointment was also with a relative of Perry's. I think some things just happen by happenstance. I think other things that happen are God winks.
We all agreed to meet at Pizza Hut on Friday night. There were very limited options in Gardendale that served alcohol. Perry told me I could come to his house in Center Point after work. He knew I got off at 3pm and I wouldn't want to drive home to turn around and drive back toward Birmingham. He was a perfect gentleman at his house. We talked and laughed, just like we had never spent a day apart. I changed into my daisy duke shorts and t-shirt. We were off. He drove and we made it to Pizza Hut. One of the friends never showed up. The other came but only stayed long enough to eat. It was obvious Perry had intentions for this to be more than a night of old friends getting together. I was pretty nervous and decided drinking might help to calm my nerves. We left after we demolished a pizza and had a pitcher or two of beer. Thank God again for protecting our ignorant, stupid, and young selves! We ended up at Cafe de Ville. It was the hot night club at the time. It was also known as "Cafe I Will". I continued to drink like I did this every night. I remember running into a clique of girls we went to high school with at the night club. One of them was in Perry's "rotation" as he worded it at our 30 year class reunion. It's funny now because I really like her, but that night she made a comment to Perry about maybe we could make it longer than 2 weeks together. I remember hearing him say, "This time I'm going to marry her."
That's the last thing I remember until the next morning when I woke up on the bathroom floor with my head in Perry's lap. He had been wiping my head during the night. I had become quite intimate with his toilet. I looked to see what time it was and then it hit me.....I was going to be so late for my date that day. It was the 1st Auburn game of the season. One of the residents that played at Auburn had asked me to go to the game with him. I jumped up and all I remember Perry asking is if I wanted to brush my teeth. As I did the walk of shame out of his dad's house, going down the stairs, I heard a voice behind me ask if I wanted any coffee and say good morning. That was the 1st time Perry's dad had ever seen me since he had lived in Florida throughout our time in school together.
I made it home and changed clothes. I honestly don't even think I took a full shower, probably just hit the high points. I did brush my teeth! The date was fun, although Auburn lost. All I could think of all day was Perry, and it was an A L L D A Y D A T E! When I finally got back home, my mother met me at the door. She told me to call Perry. I think her actual words were something like - Bless his heart, he's been calling here all day looking for you. I called him back. He had been worried about me all day because I had left his house in a hurry after being sick all night. I never told him I would be gone all day on another date. We agreed to meet the next day and go swimming. It was early September. We were engaged in October and married on March 21, 1992.
Comments