When I left off my last blog, I had just told Perry about my infidelity with Dr. Gripe-o. I think this was the point in our relationship when he stopped calling me beautiful angel and I just became beautiful if he even spoke to me. He started focusing on work and our boys. I was invisible. He was devastated. I was despised.
Many years later, I ran into Dr. Gripe-o in a local ED. He was as shocked to see me as I was him. I think the most shocking thing was how I viewed him. He reminded me of an old man trying to look young. He gave me creeper vibes. I spoke and moved on, but shortly after I was paged overhead for a phone call. When I answered it was Dr. Gripe-o. He told me how good he thought I looked. I didn't elaborate on anything I had been through. I just said thanks and sat in awkward silence. He told me he didn't know why he called and I told him I didn't know why either. I ended the call with a take care and that was that.
The year 2002 had enough distress with my marriage struggles, but then my grandmother passed away. I was heartbroken. I loved my Clara Bell so very much. I thought of her as my mom in a lot of ways. She had raised me from an infant until age 5. I knew without a doubt she loved me unconditionally. I sometimes doubted others love for me, but never hers. I loved everything about her. I would beg to go spend my summers and any breaks from school with her. I would come inside with helmet head and mud in my teeth from riding on the dirt bike with my cousin. She would ask if I had been on it. I would lie and she would tell me to go bend over the bed for my spanking. Before she spanked me, she would whisper, "you better act like this hurts."
At home with Perry, we had boys ages 5 and 7. We were both working full time. I had taken a job as an office nurse for an OB/GYN Dr. and was still working flex at the hospital. Perry continued working as a mortgage broker. The only thing Perry and I did together that didn't involve the boys was go to Talladega twice a year. I would work in the care-center and he would volunteer to drive the gator and deliver supplies to the aid stations, or anything else we needed him to do. I was being honest with him about everything going on in my life. I told him every time a guy flirted with me or called me. He honestly didn't seem to care. I guess it was because he didn't. As far as he was concerned, I was his invisible female business partner raising children and running a household.
I took a few days off from work. When I returned to the ED, several of the nurses told me about a new hire who started orientation earlier in the week. They told me how much I would despise her. Ironically, I met her and thought she was awesome. Her name was Susan. She was being told she would hate me as well. Susan and I became very close friends. We discovered we had a lot in common. She was single and loved to travel. She was close to my age, just a couple of years younger. The fall of 2002, Susan and I both worked at the Infield care center at Talladega. The security guard at the garage entrance would always let us in even without garage passes. It really is amazing at what big boobs will do for you. We both had the best money could buy. While being in the garage, Susan and I met several drivers and crew members.
Susan was turning 30 in November of 2002. We arranged to travel to Miami for her birthday to see the last Nascar race of the season. There was a driver she was interested in spending some time with. We had gotten Infield passes from a friend and were ready to go celebrate!
Once we arrived, we made sure to make friends with the security guard at the garage entrance. We didn't have garage passes, but getting in the garage wasn't a problem for Susan. We went on the prowl for the driver Susan had spent time with in Talladega. He had even bought her a puppy! Instead, we found another driver that was showing her a lot of interest. He asked if we would like to go to dinner along with him and a few of his friends. We agreed and both dressed nice thinking we would be taken to a Michelin star restaurant. We were very surprised when we walked in and there was a cow riding a tractor painted on the wall at the restaurant of his choice. It was a good thing this driver was pretty because he had a few loose screws.
We had a great time but the few days of Susan's birthday celebration went by quickly. It was our last night so we decided to go downtown and hit the restaurants and bars. While we were out, we ran into a crew of one of the well known drivers. Susan was in her element. She was up dancing and getting all the attention. She had all of this crew drooling over her. I was very self conscious because I hadn't been running and had been stress eating. I definitely didn't feel confident enough to dance in front of a group of guys. I saw the car chief of this crew sitting at the bar. I walked over and joined him. At first I thought he was somewhat of an ass. He wasn't very talkative and when he did say something, he was hard to understand because of his very northern accent. He was decent, but not what I would have considered to be good looking or the kind of guy I would normally be attracted to. I thought sitting and talking to him would be safe.
For anyone that doesn't know me, I can and will talk to a brick wall. In the beginning, this guy we will call CCNA (car chief northern ass), was like talking to brick wall. I turned on my southern charm and made him talk to me. I saw his wedding band and started asking simple questions. I asked how long he had been married. He answered ten years. Perry and I had been married ten years as well. I asked what month he had gotten married. CCNA and I had both gotten married in the same month. After a few more questions, he was showing me the inside of his engraved wedding band to prove he had gotten married on the exact time, day, and year Perry and I had. He had one son the same age as Sam. His son's name was a name that I had considered for Josh. We ended up getting along well, joking about our accents, and talking about our
families.
It was getting late and the pit crew needed to leave. As they entered the van sent to pick them up, there was a few of the guys who asked if we would be willing to flash them before they left. I've never been bashful about my breasts. I don't understand what the obsession with breasts is. We all have them. I had them prior to having children. I had them after having children. I just required implants to restuff them after our boys had sucked the life out of them leaving them to only be empty skin sack I constantly found under my arms when I rolled on my side. Even if I don't understand the obsession, I have always been savvy enough to use them to my benefit, especially after restuffing them!
Susan performed her flash and I was about to follow when I heard CCNA lean in and whisper to me, "You're too good for this, don't do it." I looked at him and he nodded his head no. For the first time in a very hard year, I felt as if someone actually cared about my well-being. For the first time since I told Perry about Dr. Gripe-o, I realized not only was he still mad at me; I was completely insignificant to him.
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